Thursday:

Nothing out of the ordinary happened today.

Except that I tried not to speak the whole day, writing stuff on a piece of paper instead. But inthe end, I cracked. It's difficult not to talk.

But the desire to just keep quiet was there.

I sometimes say the wrong things. Not really a charmer, me.

During experiment, I was holding the copper electrolytes in such a way that they touched. Cikgu Goh actually put his claws on my head in exasperation. Cannot Like That!!!

ON MY FREAKING HEAD.

I was probably so shocked that I barely reacted. After that there was only like, a smothered, weird feeling- Did Cikgu Goh really do that? I think he did. His claws on my head. Whoa.

I think my subdued impression made Cikgu Goh think I'm an ungrateful, miserable girl who doesn't have the 'Power of MIND'. "Why you always look so angry?"

...I just like to keep really quiet & look like that when I feel threatened. And I feel threatened a lot when Cikgu Goh is around. I really like that teacher lah. Just he has the ability to make me feel scared. Which is not a bad thing. I think.

When I make mistakes, & people who are not close to me, or people I don't trust, comment on them or scold me for them, I tend to become very chilly & quiet.

Hm. I wonder if I am able to do otherwise.


Signed, Carmelia.

Feeling, alright.
Thinking, Exams coming up. Exams coming up.