Nothing of the highlight sort happened today. Except that I had eight doughnuts. I'd posted on Facebook that anyone catching me eating a doughnut tomorrow will be able to claim RM1 from me.
Went for debate instead of PBSM & Badminton Club meeting. They seemed quite... Glad that I'm around to help, I suppose. I don't know. When I asked whether I'm helping, they said yes, & didn't seem to hesitate about it.
Haha, I know, I think too much. But I just want to be sure that I'm not forcing myself on them. I don't like that.
I noticed them glancing at my left arm & nudging each other. I consciously hid the scars from view after that. I don't mind, really, people seeing. But of course, I'd hide them whenever I can.
Oh. And I really hate it when mum says mean things. About us, about other people- She's actually a very self-sacrificing person. I have come to realize that. But the way she defends herself or tries to lighten her own burdens is... Not the most advantageous way. I'm trying my best not to be influenced by her negativity.
When I'm a mother, I must keep in mind to be cheerful, & always nice to other people. I know that things happen, but still, I must try. I'm only going to be a mother to kids for a few years, I should make the best of it.
Signed, Carmelia.
Feeling, tired.
Thinking, if time would stop, I think I'd pack my bags, walk & learn to operate a boat, just to get to where you are now.
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