Yeah, so she asked me what would I do if I found out that my son or daughter was committing sexual immorality in their teens. Immediate reactions, I don't know. You cannot really control your reactions, can you? But my long term response, I should think, would be something like this.


"Hey there. So you love my daughter. & apparently, she loves you too. So you're saying, & so she's saying.

I will tell you straight off now that I feel very disappointed. & heartbroken. When I found out, I couldn't control myself. I'm sorry for that, I really am. For screaming, for saying what I said. For being rude to you.

I want you to understand that what you did was wrong. Has my daughter told you about the guy she loves more than she loves you? She probably forgot. Or she didn't dare to, in case you'd feel offended. Ask her about Jesus, if you don't already know Him. It's not right, what you did. And she knows it. & I think, you do too.

I love my daughter. & if she loves you the way she does now, I know she's onto something. I still feel hurt, but I will do my best to be as involved in this as possible. & by involved, I mean this. I want to know where you guys go. With, or without friends, for how long, what you will be doing- Details.

And if I don't agree to anything, I will not ignore you, or simply say no. I will not get angry, or feel worried & upset about your proposal. I will be glad that you've told me about it. & if there are any disagreements, I want to talk & discuss.

I cannot promise that I will compromise the way you want me to. What I truly think cannot give way, I will stick to, for my daughter. But I will promise that I will support her, & I will listen. Always. Even when it's something I don't like to hear. I don't want communications to be shut between us.

If I think something's wrong, I will say so. If I don't, I share the blame for whatever happens afterwards.

Come over often. Have dinner with the family. I don't mind meeting yours too, for my daughter. You are serious, are you not, with her? About a future, with her. There are things about you that I am not that fond of, but like I have said, my daughter must be on to something if she'd stick to you this strongly. I want to take you two out, to church, to dinners. My husband would like to spend time with you. Pray more. Share the word.

You are not our son-in-law. Not yet. We are not condoning sex, or any immorality. I don't want you to encourage my daughter to drink, or smoke. Don't even think about taking drugs. I'm trusting that you love her enough to do what's right for her- And I want to make it easy by supporting you.

In exchange for more time with her, in exchange for the security she will be able to enjoy from this relationship between her boyfriend and her parents, in exchange for a more guaranteed future with her, you will pray & constantly keep yourself from temptations. You love her, remember that.

How far is far? Kissing? Touching? Stimulation? Discuss this with us, with her dad. Anything you can do without, do without.

I will talk often with my daughter. She will be obedient, I trust that she knows what's right, deep down. I want to make it easy for her to make the right decisions. Sometimes she won't say no to you- Now I'm making it clear to her that you know the limits. If you don't abide by them, she will be shaken, that you aren't able to control yourself.

If you ever break her heart, I will not hate you. I might dislike you, because such is human nature- but I will do my best to help her heal.

If she ever breaks your heart, I will do my best to make her see what she's done wrong.

If you two don't work out, I want things to be smooth & well.

Granted, I am not in charge. I love my daughter, but I am not her owner. I am her mother. My actions are limited, but my prayers will continue everyday, without ceasing, that things will go according to God's will, & will go well for everyone.

For my daughter, I will learn to like you, if I don't already. I will listen. & I love you too. God bless."






Daughter, because I am one now.

A lot of things can go wrong. A lot of things will be different. But I will be foolish if I do not learn from what has happened.




...What if my children use this blog post against me? Well, well.