Monday: Cheerleading

Was good :D Not as good as I wanted it to be, but the girls were quite sporting. I'd divided them into groups (Pink, Orange, Red, Purple, Blue) & told them to come up with cheers. They really surprised me- SO much better than I'd expected <3

I'm trying to stop myself from eating through sheer will now. No one around to stop me. I hate my appetite so much. Chang Sin Fung told us about how he'd been losing weight recently, despite eating so much. As if that was a bad thing. Screw. I wish I wish I wish- but in the end it doesn't matter what I wish. I have to go do it. No use being lenient to myself about it, yeah?

Another reason why I want to lose weight: Reduce breast size. I want to be able to jump, tumble, stretch, dance, play outside- And not worry about my chest exercising on its own. YUCKS.

So far, what I had for today:

1. Green tea (0 kcal)
2. Iced toffee drink (100 kcal)
3. Rice + Diluted Curry Sauce + Veggies (300 kcal)
4. Three doughnuts (240 kcal)
5. Two biscuits (100 kcal)

Total: 740 kcal

Those calorie estimates are at their highest possible. 740 kcal is... Alright. As long as I don't have any more today, then there'll be a deficit, I'm sure, of at least 200 kcal (assuming my maintenance metabolism stands at around 1100 kcal)

The lunch I had should logically contain more calories, but I didn't finish the rice, the curry sauce was REALLY diluted, & the veggies are little. If you know our school canteens, you'll believe me when I say little.

...This is kind of making me feel down. I should probably go drink some green tea & rest before tuition later. My weight's up recently. I hope it's due to the food inside me & not... the... fat. Oh sweet nibblets. I don't wanna get depressed again.

Signed, Carmelia

Feeling, unhappy.
Thinking, just MAKE yourself do the things you should, stupid girl.